Right now, I could go on and on about the crapass part of the Navy, but instead I'm choosing to focus on a fun part of the Navy. I COULD say things like, "THEY SERIOUSLY LEFT WITH ALMOST NO WARNING AND WITHOUT TELLING US WHEN THEY'D BE BACK? AGAIN!?!?!?!?!" But I won't. I could say, "I can't wait to get back to the states so we can have a more solid, structured schedule." But that would just be silly of me.
So, as I said, I'll focus on the latest fun thing our ship has done, the Friends and Family Day Cruise.
1. I just want to bring attention to the fact that a water fountain is called a "Scuttlebutt" on Naval ships.
2. I can't BELIEVE grown ass Sailors need to be told to NOT put noodles down the drain.
Kendall and I. We have so few pictures together while he's in any sort of uniform. And I'm just going to say it...coveralls are hot.
The Roostertail. We were cruising right along at 32knots, with rough seas. It was quite a thing to see.
Here we had a weapons demo. This reminded me of the Wives Cruise I took with Kendall on his old ship. I remember being amazed by the sheer sound and amount of rounds that were used. This time around...still amazed.
And like last time, we made me a bracelet of the shell casings. :) One from the CAPE, and now one from the LASSEN.
Speaking of rough seas....
USS George Washingston (CVN 73), our Aircraft Carrier.
We were able to get a demo of GW's jets. I have NEVER in my life heard ANYTHING so loud. Absolutely amazing!!
Flyover from GW's helo.
LASSEN'S Battle Ensign. Such a large flag.
And a purely accidental shot of my husband. As I stated earlier...Coveralls are hot.
It was actually a very fun day, even though we had to work and the fact that I got sick once. It was pretty amazing to get to do all that with Kendall. To him, it's just a job and I guess I can understand that, but to me it's something I don't get to see everyday.
We lost my PawPaw last month. My second blog post was about him and Nanny, about how important they are to me.
PawPaw had gotten sick, he actually asked to go to the hospital and if you knew my PawPaw...you know what a big thing this is. After a few days, he was making progress but out of nowhere, he took a turn for the worst. I took my daughter to the doctor for a check up and when I came home I had a message from my mom saying to call her. I just knew. She told me that PawPaw had passed. While I was at the hospital with Kaylee, my Grandfather died.
Words can not express the pain we as a family felt the moment that sweet, sweet man took his last breath. He was our rock, our hero. He was the strongest man I've ever known, to have gone through everything he had, to still keep good spirits... We take comfort in the fact that we knew he was ready. He told Nanny he was ready. We know he's no longer hurting. He's not being poked and prodded by doctors, nurses and home health care workers. We know he's in a better place.
But, I want him to be here with us. Why wouldn't I? I was so close to him and Nanny. I am a military wife and no one understands that better than they do. I miss hearing, "Hey there my little Navy wife" when I call their house. And today I called to talk to Nanny...as we were hanging up she said, "Tell Kendall we said hi."
We.
I know thats what shes used to saying, but that one got me. I choked through the, "I will, Nanny." and I had to hang up so fast. What about Nanny? How will she get by without him? 53 years of marriage and now he's gone. She'll make it, she's a fiesty woman...but I hope you know what I mean. How will living without her best friend and lover of 53 years effect her?
Questions. There are a lot of questions about that.
He was brave, strong, loyal, smart, handsome, loving, caring, tough when he needed to be, fun, understanding. I could keep going all night. He was so important and it hurts to know that even if I live to be 100, I'll never be able to talk to him again. It's hard to call Nanny and NOT ask about PawPaw. I know that next time I go home, I'll drive away from their house and he won't be on the patio waving and blowing me kisses. I'll never get another rose from him. I'll never hear another Army story, or get his advice.
But speaking of Army stories. I remember a time when our whole family went to the beach together. My cousin, Ryan, wanted to bungee jump. PawPaw told him to yell out, "AIRBORNE!!!" and he'd give him something...or it was a bet that he could/couldn't do it. I can't remember, I'll have to ask Ryan. Either way, he did it. And the look on PawPaw's face...I'll never forget it. He was so proud of all of us, he loved us through all our mistakes, all of our triumphs. Our marriages, the births of our babies. They travelled 750 miles to Virginia when my kids were born. He had his great-grandbabies pictures on his wall and he'd give them all goodnight kisses every night. I wish I had been able to be home more. I was given, in an odd way, two more months with him thanks to the Earthquake Japan got. I wouldn't have had that time with him. He was at my sons 2nd birthday party, he would've missed that. And during the party he gave my best friend $50 to buy a Bible for her newborn daughter...just to show you what kind of wonderful man he was.
Kendall and I wouldn't have paid some very unexpected bills had it not been for PawPaw and Nanny. Everytime we had to borrow money from them, we made sure we had it to give back. Every single time...I'd hand it to him and tell him it was a tax refund, and every single time he'd hand it right back to me and tell me to keep it and spend it on the kids. He gave me a blank check before I moved to VA with Kendall to get me home if I ever needed it. He got us home from Japan after the Earthquake. He'd slip us all money on the sly for no reason other than he loved us. Those are the memories I'll never forget. Who gives a CRAP about the money you know? It's the light in his eyes as he did it that I'll miss.
I wish I had more time with him. I know that he was proud of me and that he loved me though and that will give me strength to make it through my darkest days. To know all that he went through...I can surely do anything if he went through all of that. I called them all the time, always made sure to talk to PawPaw if he was around, and sometimes I'd hear him on the phone even when I was talking to Nanny. God I miss that man, and I always will. He truly is my hero. It's hard to imagine a world without him in it...
And.....after 77 days of being apart, USS LASSEN finally returned to homeport in Yokosuka!!
I was so excited for homecoming. That was the longest since 2005-2006 that we were apart. It was totally worth it. The FRG board members got to go down to the Mess Decks to meet the Sailors, but before I got to see Kendall there...I saw him here...
Ok, I know you can't tell which one is him, but thats the beauty of being completely in love with someone, you can spot them from a mile away. I saw him as soon as he stepped on the brow. <3
And finally, after 77 days.....
The moment every military wife longs for as soon as she even HEARS the word "deployment"....the moment she gets her love back. It was well worth the wait.
We got a week with him before he left again, lol. 7 days seems like crap after 77...but I'll take everything I can get. We had a great time though while he was home. He took leave for a few days, so no work at all. We just did whatever we wanted to do, took the kids to the playground, went bowling, put a TV up in Dylan's room, etc. It was so nice, just being a family again. Not being second fiddle to the Navy.
But like I said, now he's gone again.
Know what makes a good Navy wife? It's not her courage, or her strength. It's her ability to hear that he's leaving so soon after getting home, to bitch for 5 minutes, but then she puts on a brave face and deals with it. Which is basically what I had to do. Once again, I'm just ready to have him back home.
So I'm sitting here back in Japan, alone. Kendall's ship had a last minute schedule change (whats new?) and the kids are (thankfully) asleep. It hasn't been the best night for me. It was a good day, the kids and I did alot together...but Dylan was freaking out because he had to go to bed. It's like its a new concept for him that he has to sleep. Anyway, I stole my 3 year olds iPhone (LONG STORY) and downloaded Jason Aldean's "My Kinda Party" album. I hit shuffle, like I always do. The song "Church pew or bar stool" came on and he's talking about a small town and how he's gotta get out. Yada yada yada. As I'm listening, I realize I'm crying.
Church Pew or Bar Stool is my hometown. It's Morgan City. So is Tattoos on this Town, but that's another post.
I just spent 2 months back in 'Bama. I got a ton of time with my parents, my family and my best friend. And as ready as I was to come home to Japan, because lets face it, home is where my husband is...I still find myself wanting to be in Morgan City. I don't think that will ever change. That was where I grew up, where my roots are. My roots there are deep. My roots here are short. I know we'll be leaving Japan in 2 years. I don't know when we'll be back in 'Bama. I don't know when I'll see my family again. I don't know when I'll be driving down Pine Ridge Road with my windows down, Lynyrd Skynyrd blaring and my bare foot out the window. The sweet smell of honeysuckle, or the kudzu that seems to invade everything in the spring, I miss those. My babies got to eat the dew from a honeysuckle, just like I did when I was growing up. I always said I'd never leave that place...and look at me now. I have days where I long to be there, in my parents house...with Daddy picking on me and Momma buzzing around. I just got back here 8 days ago...
I guess sometimes a girl just needs to cry because I can't seem to turn it off tonight. I miss so much being gone. Things go on, my friends get together and do things without me. We have family things I'm never there for. I miss births, graduations, birthdays and anniversaries.
When I was home I saw so many of my "stompin' grounds." (Here's where Tattoos on this Town comes in.) There was the 7-11 we all used to hang out at. While taking my brother somewhere, I drove down the road where I used to go parking, lol I even found the hidden driveway. There's the tree with eyes, the broken bridge, yellowbluff. The cold hole. The spot where I had my first kiss. The spot where my first serious boyfriend told me he loved me...and the spot where he first broke my heart. The river where we used to jump from the bluffs. I remember how I lied to my best friend, Amanda telling her I had jumped when I hadn't, without realizing I'd HAVE to do it now. Amanda and I ate at the same resturant we all ate at on prom night, sat so close to the same table. I could almost see us all there, laughing and talking about our plans for the summer. Everytime I drove in to Huntsville I passed the spot where my husband gave me his last name. Driving up the mountain and looking at the rock seeing if someone had spraypainted it with something different. My home. It is me.
"Whiskey or the Bible. A shot glass or revival." That's me, that's my hometown. We take things slow there. We take the time to get to know our neighbors and we love get-togethers. Every car I pass I can pretty much guarantee the driver will hold up his or her first 2 fingers to wave...and I'll do the same. I'll even know most of them by name. When I walk in to our drug store or grocery store, the people will greet me by my name and ask me how my Momma is. I haven't lived there in over 6 years now if that tells you how amazing my hometown is. The people there will give you the shirt off their back if you need it. I am the same way, like my parents are. We don't even have a caution light and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Morgan City, Alabama will always be one of my favorite places. I can travel all over, see the 7 wonders of the world...and they will never compare to driving down Pine Ridge and pulling in to my parents house where I grew up. Knowing that just for a few days, I'm "home." I do have two homes. I have my home with my husband and our family. I'll always want to be there. I have my home in 'Bama with my friends and family. I'll always want to be there too. I know why I hang around that church pew or bar stool kinda town.
Titles. Always trying to think of titles for these things. Unfortunately I have nothing right now. The last 14 days have been a blur.
11MARCH2011
After visiting family in the states for 16 days, my family and I hop a flight back to Tokyo. Getting on the flight and the actual flight itself was pretty uneventful. Easy going. Kendall and I were separated on the plane, he sat up front with our son and I sat on the wing (as always) with my daughter. After trying to catch some sleep that never came, we decided to switch seats so that Kendall could get some rest. Sitting on an international flight, there are TV screens on the back of every seat, as well as two big screens at the beginning of the "coach" seats. It lists the miles you've traveled, how far until you land, time in the air, how fast you're going, etc. I was watching the miles go down, desperate to get off the plane and back to our normal lives.
"To Destination: 30mi"
Awesome! Almost home!
Pilot: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we were just informed that Narita Airport has been closed due to a small earthquake. We're being re-routed to Yokota...."
Awesome.
So, we land in Yokota and sat. And sat. And sat. For 5 hours. The Air Force wouldn't let us off the plane because they didn't want Japanese Nationals on their base, but it took them 5 hours to decide that.
Re-route to Nagoya Airport. 5 hours away from Yokosuka.
-------
12MARCH2011
We land in Nagoya. No trains are running. No room in any of the hotels. People are sleeping in airports. Kendall said that no, that wasn't about to happen to us, so we agreed to pay....are you ready??? 100,000Yen (1,234 USD) for a taxi ride from Nagoya to Yokosuka. We were able to talk the guy down to 80,000Yen...around 1,000 USD though.
So we're driving. The kids are sleeping. We're trying to sleep. Again, smooth sailing. 90 miles from home...traffic. Dead stop. The Tsunami had closed the Tomei Expressway. The taxi driver told us in extremely broken English that the train in Shizuoka was running.
0400, we paid the driver 60,000Yen since he didn't take us the whole way...and waited for a train that was running at 0513.
One thing you have to understand is that train stations in Japan (at least every one I've been to) are outside. There is no heat. It was 34 degrees outside. We had both our kids in just flimsy jackets, in 30 degree weather for over an hour, waiting on a train. Come to find out, the train wasn't running. All that for nothing.
-------
So we walk to the nearest hotel. No rooms. Luckily, the clerk spoke pretty good English and did everything he could to find us a way home. He brought the kids something to eat, along with Calpis to drink. A Japanese girl was making Origami birds for them too.
(It wasn't until we got here that we actually saw how bad the Earthquake and Tsunami were. All were told on the plane was that it was a "small" earthquake and that "a few" people had died. But no, it was much worse. )
After about an hour or two of sitting in the hotel, the guy finally found a running train. He called a taxi for us and we took off.
-------
We pay the driver over $50USD probably, and go inside to buy a ticket.
Our Passmo cards didn't work. Our bank cards didn't work. We had no Yen because we had to run to meet our flight before we left the states and had no time to get to the money exchange.
Teared up. Stressed out. Tired.
Kendall wouldn't stop until he knew we could get home. He stood in a line and THANKFULLY got a lady who spoke English, he told her what was going on and she helped us out big time. We spent $130USD, but she got us tickets on the bullet train to Yokohama, and tickets to get us from there to Yokosuka. I did cry then, I was so happy to be going HOME.
We get to our platform and make sure we were waiting for the right train...then we hear this...."weeeeeee" sound, and to our left came a bullet train. Fast as lightening. So of course, because I'm like a 5 year old sometimes, I start jumping and down because we were going to get to ride it!!
We get on the train, take off with speed like hell. Turn a corner and BOOM...there's the ever beautiful Mount Fuji. As close to her as I've ever been, and probably ever will be. Fuji-san is definitely a sight.
-------
We arrive in Shin-Yokohama, have to catch another train to the actual Yokohama (thanks to the help of a Japanese lady who told us we were on the wrong train and who helped get us to the right spot), only to find out when we get there that the stations to Yokosuka are not up and running. Cry some more. SO CLOSE TO HOME!
Screw it, we'll pay for ANOTHER taxi to get us from Yokohama to the base.
-------
$120 later...we see main gate! Turn to go in.
Security: "Uh, this taxi can't come on base, you'll have to turn around." And they wouldn't allow us to get out...we had to go back OFF BASE first.
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME DUDE?!
So, after bitch-fest 2011 to the security dude...we just do it. We're too damn tired to do anything else, we just want to go home.
We find an on-base taxi..."Asagao Heights. PLEASE."
Driver: "Hai, Asagao"
-------
13MARCH2011
Uneventful.
14MARCH2011
We start hearing about the nuclear problems at Fukushima Dai-ichi.
15MARCH2011
Wake up, feeling pretty good finally. Kendall went back to work, la dee dah. At 1025, I see a post by CFAY saying that at 0700, the USS George Washington detected radiation.
FREAK. OUT. Why in the world would they wait THAT LONG before telling us we had radiation on our base????
I call Kendall, tell him he needs to come home at lunch so we can talk about getting the kids out of Japan. I mean, I'm thinking we have a ton of radiation all around us.
He comes home, says I don't need to leave because XO says I shouldn't. There's no reason to. XO calls me personally to assure me Yoko is SAFE. He said that GW picked up a spike in radiation above normal background levels, and hadn't picked it up again. I felt so much better.
16MARCH2011
I wake up, feeling safe in my home. Our ship was holding an FRG meeting later that night, so I was running around getting ready for that. XO talks to everyone, assures us everything is fine.
Good to hear.
17MARCH2011
Again, I wake up feeling great. I take the kids out to the commissary and NEX. When we got there...I heard numerous groups of Sailors saying, "We're getting the f*** out on Saturday, thank God."
Who in the hell ever WANTS to get underway you know?
-------
I go home and send Kendall a text to make sure everything was still ok. Yes, it was.
Later, we find out about an explosion or something at the plant, they were worried about the fuel rods leaking and that the containment chambers had been breached.
18MARCH2011
Nothing but a huge ball of stress. One minute its safe, the next it's not.
"Evacuation" "It's just a precaution."
Kendall calls.
"Get a plane ticket and get the kids out of here."
Naturally...when your husband says that, you freak.
A thousand questions end up in one answer: "I'm tired of being jerked around."
He wanted to get our kids out of Japan because no one knew if it was really safe or not. Evacuate or not? The base kept flip-flopping on what to do. He tells me that his ship, which was currently under maintenance, was going to be getting underway. But why?! Yokosuka is SAFE! At least that's what you people told us!! What do yall know that you're not telling us?!
-------
Bought the tickets for me and the kids. We were to fly out 20MARCH.
19MARCH2011
Pack. Cry. Pack some more. Knowing my family was about to be separated for an unknown amount of time was heartbreaking. I looked around our home at all the things I hoped we'd come back for. All those things that couldn't fit in a suitcase. I was seriously a blubbering idiot for most of the day.
20MARCH2011
The day we had to leave. I was both relieved and heartbroken at the same time. I wanted our kids to be safe...but I did not want to leave Kendall. At all. A friend of his drove us to the airport, and all I could do was hold his hand, wondering when I'd get to do that again. I so dreaded him walking away from us at the airport. What would the kids think? How would they react when they realized he wasn't coming with us?
-------
Not good. Hardest thing...ever.
But, no one will EVER tell us we didn't do the right thing. Only people who don't have kids would say that. When you look at your child, so innocent, and think of the things that are headed their way...your only thought is, "I have to keep my kids safe." So we flew back to the states. We decided to separate our family for the safety of our children. If you ask me, and maybe my husband would agree, I don't speak for him though...I think it makes us stronger to be able to do this. I hear people say, "Well I'm a strong military wife because I'm not leaving." Well...I'd rather be a strong MOTHER. I'd rather my husband be a strong FATHER. I don't want to worry if the food they're eating is contaminated with toxic materials. If the water we're drinking has unsafe levels of radiation in it.
-------
Japan is a gorgeous country. The Japanese people are beyond amazing. The devastation they faced, and are still facing, is enough to bring anyone down, and yet they are still overcoming. What we went through was nothing compared to what some went through. Thousands, upon thousands of people died, are still dying because they have no food, no water, no shelter, no heat. It's terrible.
-------
But - that's my story of the last couple of weeks. It's been a crazy roller coaster ride. <----Just got my title.
